Inspiration? Nope
We’re all sat in a circle, waiting for the three questions. What’s your name? What do you shoot? And what’s something that’s inspired you this week?
These are three questions we ask at my photography club and I have a strange relationship with the last one. Most times, as the words flow from person to person and the circle gets smaller until it’s burnt down to me, I’m trying to think of something to say. Anything really. I’m not too bothered if it’s clever or impressive (although of course that would be nice!).
What’s YOUR Answer?
Sometimes there’s been some emphatic answers, but a lot of the time I don’t really feel inspired by anything particularly.
I think it’s a good question. I want one day to be able to answer it emphatically every time and not just use a placeholder answer: a recent film I watched, a photography book I read, etc. It’s not that they’re total lies I’m spouting, but can I say definitively that the answer I gave was responsible for me putting two batteries in the charger the night before, formatting my SD cards and basically getting ready for action?
All those journeys into town, I think people call it flow state: I’m looking out the tram window at the light, or the darkness, surveying my surroundings. The colour of someone’s outfit catches my eye. In the reflection of the window I see a guy in a jaunty hat, a transplant from the 50s. I’m watching it all while I set up my camera, so it’s around my neck, switched on and ready to go the moment I get up.
They Call That A “Wipe Out”
Yesterday a girl on the tram was reading a book with the provocative title of Nympho on it, which made me laugh to myself. A few years ago I would have got to the other side of the tram and found a way to photograph it. Today I twist it around in my head trying to think of a composition that would make sense, basically talking myself out of it.
Two stops later the book was folded front to back so you couldn’t see the cover anymore.
I think that’s part of the problem really, thinking about things I used to do when I first started photographing on the streets. When every time I went out I was inspired. Every corner had a secret yet to be revealed, a crazy scene about to happen, a crazy character about to be revealed.
Where Does Inspiration Come From?
I think sometimes that inspiration is for beginners. The rest of us, when we’re not navel gazing and being “woe is me”, are just grinding it out and shooting. I just wish I could tilt the scales more towards the latter than the former. At least I’d be more productive.
Yesterday was not a bad day. Good light. A Saturday, but I felt totally uninspired by it all.
I think I’ve started to develop a sixth sense about whether I’m going to get anything on any given shooting day. I feel like it’s more than just an assessment of how I feel. There’s just something about the way people are moving, where the light is falling, and I can tell straight away whether it’s going to be a good day.
It’s surely bullshit. It must be my mood. But sometimes I wonder. Is it like a surfer looking out at the waves and understanding that they’re breaking too early, the set they’re waiting for just isn’t coming?
More and more I’m like that surfer, on the beach, looking out to sea instead of being in the water. And even though that was the case yesterday, I did get a few photos I thought were OK. They’re not going to change my life but its been two weeks since I took anything off the SD card so beggars can’t be choosers as they say! The light was a big help because it did feel like a grind at time, and I messed up a few shots that I shouldn’t have (lack of practice).
Time to Grind?
But every time I thought of going home I managed to stay the execution by going for a coffee when I was flagging or when my head started to drop and my back started to ache, I would do another lap of the Northern Quarter “while the light is still here”.
I wish I could say that’s my conclusion validated: grinding it out is the secret.
I don’t think it is.
I think if you do it too many times then you get burned out. There’s a limited amount of times you can come home with an empty SD card, or even worse, the knowledge that you’ve probably got 100 photos but you can’t even be bothered to put them on the computer to look at them.
No, I don’t think too much of that is good for anyone.
What I’ve Learnt
I think the reality is that in terms of inspiration, sometimes it comes to you, sometimes you have to go seek it. Go on holiday, try a new lens, a new city, shoot with someone with a totally different style. These are sometimes easier to say than do. Sometimes you have to feel inspired to get inspiration, which is a rather perverse way of thinking about it.
Anyway, I’ve probably spent 1,000 words going back and forth without a conclusion.
I think the reality is that sometimes you have to look at yourself in the mirror and decide whether you’re going to shit or get off the pot.
It will always eventually come down to this.
Forget the holidays, new lens and sunny days.
It always comes back to one question:
Who am I going to be today?
